Autism: Taking Off the Mask

OSCAR Care Group
Aug 25
4 min read

Updated: Aug 26

Understanding and Supporting People with Autism who Mask to fit in.

For many people with autism, masking becomes a daily habit. But this habit can come with serious emotional and mental costs. Masking often begins in early childhood and can continue throughout adulthood. Masking might seem like a way to ‘fit in,’ but it often means leaving parts of yourself behind. No one should feel like they have to pretend to belong.

Let’s dive into what masking is, why it happens, and how we can create spaces where people feel safe to be their true selves.

What is Masking in Autism?

Masking is when a person with autism hides their natural ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving to fit in with others. This might look like forcing eye contact, copying social behaviours, hiding stimming (like hand flapping or rocking), or staying quiet even when they have something to say. Often, people mask to avoid judgment, bullying, or being misunderstood. But over time, masking can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, depression, identity confusion, and even burnout. Everyone deserves to feel safe being themselves.

How Can You Tell if Someone is Masking?

Masking isn’t always obvious. Some signs might include:

Seeming “fine” at school or work, but melting down at home
Copying others' behaviour instead of acting naturally
Being overly quiet or people-pleasing
Avoiding social settings even if they’re capable communicators

These are just some clues that a person might be working very hard to ‘fit in’ rather than feel comfortable. There are different signs of masking depending on the age of the child or adult with autism.

Signs of Masking in Preschool (2–5 years):

May avoid playing in groups
Imitates peers but looks uncomfortable
Suppresses natural play or movement

Signs of Masking in Primary school (6–12 years):

Acts “perfect” at school but breaks down at home
Tries to blend in, avoids asking for help
Is very aware of how they appear to others

Signs of Masking in Teens (13–18 years):

Highly anxious in social settings
Hides interests considered ‘uncool’
May script conversations in advance

Signs of Masking in Adults:

Exhausted after socialising
Unsure who they are outside of masking
May be diagnosed late in life after years of camouflaging

How to Reduce the Need for Masking at Home, School, Childcare and Work

Many individuals with autism realise they are different from other people early on and begin to develop strategies to blend in. However, the solution isn’t to “teach” people with autism to mask better. Instead, reduce the need for it. There are many things we can do at home, school or work to provide a safe space for people with autism to be themselves. Afterall, differences are not deficits.

Here’s how:

Celebrate neurodiversity
Let people stim, take breaks, and be themselves
Provide predictable routines and clear communication
Listen without judgment
Create sensory-friendly environments
Avoid forcing eye contact or social behaviours that feel uncomfortable

Reducing the need for masking at home

For Parents

Let your child know they are loved exactly as they are

Watch for signs of masking and provide downtime

Support their interests—even if they seem unusual

Connect with neurodivergent adults and parent groups

For Families

Be curious, not critical

Avoid saying “just act normal” or “everyone feels that way”

Respect boundaries and sensory needs

Celebrate authentic communication—whatever form it takes

Reducing the need for masking at school or within care

For primary and secondary Schools

Teach acceptance, not conformity
Provide quiet spaces and sensory supports
Don’t punish students for stimming or needing breaks
Include students in decisions about what helps them

For Childcare Centres

Learn about neurodiversity and child-led play
Use visual supports and simple language
Create calm spaces for regulation
Partner with parents and specialists

Reducing the need for masking within Workplaces

Allow flexible schedules and quiet zones
Embrace different communication styles
Offer mentorship, not micromanagement
Create neurodivergent-friendly policies

Can a Speech Pathologist support individuals with autism in managing or understanding masking behaviours?

Yes!

Speech Pathologists can support individuals with autism by helping them build communication confidence in ways that feel natural and affirming—not forced or performative.

Speech Pathologists partner with families to share knowledge, offer support, and build confidence in ways that honour each person’s unique communication style. Speech Pathologists aim to build environments where those with autism feel safe, seen, and supported to communicate in ways that are true to them.

As Speech Pathologists we…

Focus on connection over correction
Encourage all forms of communications spoken, typed, signed, gestures or using a device such as an iPad
Validate and reflect feelings, even when unspoken
Promote self-advocacy and identity building

As well as building a communication style that works for them, supporting social interaction skills without forcing masking, providing strategies for regulation & expressive language and educate schools & families on neurodiversity. Our Speech Pathologists are here to help.

Speech Pathologists are here to support individuals with autism and their communities, in creating spaces where being authentic isn’t just okay, it’s celebrated. Reach out to an OSCAR Care Group Certified Practising Speech Pathologist to find out how we can help. Our clinic is based in Mount Waverley and telehealth is available for those who are unable to come to our clinic.

NDIS Speech Therapy Melbourne

More support

There are other Professionals Who Can Help people with autism and avoid the exhaustion, anxiety, identity confusion, or even burnout that masking can cause.